Do you compare yourself and your significant other as two ships passing in the night? Do you find yourself craving an emotional connection and a more meaningful intimacy with your spouse? I’m sure most of us at some point in our lives can relate having ‘talks’ at 1am in the morning with zero results? You’re wanting the other person to understand how you are feeling and when they don’t change, we feel unloved, unwanted and rejected….we take it personally.
Of course, how else are we to take it? Open your mind, stop trying to move mountains and most importantly….don’t just read but absorb and integrate what you are reading into your life!
Be yourself and never change yourself to fit another. There are times where we change without even recognizing we are. Our spouse pulls away if we try to hug or kiss them, we then find ourselves not bothering to try. We don’t do the little things that count such as leaving little notes, or planning something special because we feel it’s not appreciated. Why should we do this since we don’t get it back. It’s not a contest!
We stop caring how we look because we don’t receive compliments or the results that we expect. Aaaah, expectations! Leave expectations at the door.
In any relationship, it’s a matter of what we can and can’t put up with. I can put up with my husband having a need for the toilet paper to be placed on the holder with it dispensing over rather than under (can anyone say O.C.D) but I refuse to put up with emotional or physical abuse! Does it annoy me? Absolutely, but I won’t allow myself to resent it and become bitter over it. Yes I can become bitter, the paper does it’s job regardless of how it is placed on the roll! Sigh….
Long story short, do what you feel. Go get that kiss and hug regardless and don’t take it personally. Plan special outings and events. Read a couples book together…Kama Sutra anybody?!
Be aware of you! Be aware of your actions, how you carry yourself, your unspoken words, and body language. Make a pack with yourself to not take things personally, a lot of the time it doesn’t have anything to do with you! Don’t stop living, push forward and find yourself. When we are in such a relationship where we feel the other person is rejecting us emotionally or physically we then tend to analyze the whys. It is NOT your job to figure your spouse out. That is their job, don’t make it yours. There is truth to the saying that we teach others how to treat us. Think about that.
Feed that soul of yours, get out and make changes. Exercise, get in shape….take a course, do what moves you and makes you feel great about yourself!
Raise your energy. The energy that we carry around us speaks louder than words or actions. When we feel tired, worn out and beaten down because we don’t have control over our relationship, it speaks through us via the unseen blanket that covers us called energy. Haven’t you ever went into a store feeling pretty good and got body checked out of the way by an impatient person in a bad mood and left the store in a bad mood yourself. (Yep, happened to me too and the other person lived!) Then you transfered that bad mood energy to your family….energy is a powerful force! Meditate and visualize yourself in whatever pool of healing waters you want. Call upon your Spirit Guides and Angels for strength. Use self talk to calm yourself down, this is not your problem so don’t accept this negative energy.
Raising your energy helps protect you and keep your mood up, which then helps raise self esteem and confidence which then rubs off onto your relationship as well.
You will begin to see and feel results in a few days. Be sure to keep those communication doors open.
There will be times where you falter and go back to old habits. But just like falling off a diet, you get back to being healthy and follow the road to success.
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