Psychic LifeStyle Expert
- what would psychic medium Barb Powell do?

Question: Why do I keep attracting abusive relationships?

After getting out of a 22 year relationship with an abusive man, 10 years ago, I have felt as though my life truly began when my marriage ended.

While I have learned and grown so much in the last ten years, I feel this block inside me that prevents me from finding and attaining what I want in life.

I’m holding myself back.  How do I unblock that part of myself that prevents me from finding the type of relationship that is loving, respectful and supportive?

The same type of man keeps showing up in my life and I now realize, it’s me doing the attracting and bringing into my life. Help!
Crystal, age 49

Dear Crystal, you are not alone in this dilemma of attracting negative relationships which leave you drained.  I applaud you in realizing that it is you who is attracting and bringing it into your life, that is the first step for change!  Without realizing it, you are already starting the process of clearing out the old and in with the new.
Barb Powell, Psychic LifeStyle Expert

Like Crystal, do you ever notice that you attract the same types of partners over and over again? Isn’t it perplexing when you end a bad relationship — vowing to never again date a person like that — you seem to end up with a new partner who turns out to have those same qualities?

So, what do you do when you notice you are picking the same kind of partner over and over again? What do you do when you notice you are picking people you have to convince to love you?

First and foremost, understand what you are really doing in relationships. Look at your motivations. Look at the story of your life that you are trying to tell.  Be honest and truthful with what you recognize in yourself.  Be authentic!  Take a good look at your childhood, parents, interactions of friends and the teachers in your life.  What do you tell yourself in your own mind?

Second, start to heal those past wounds by giving to yourself. Didn’t get enough attention as a child? Spend an hour a day in solitude and silence finding out how you feel and who you are. Didn’t get enough toys? Establish a separate savings account and call it “Play Money.” Spend it only on toys, and make sure to spend it all and often. You get the idea. Get your needs met. Remember to make a pledge to yourself first thing in the morning to be aware of you.  Aware of the energy you are receiving and giving off.

Third, learn how to be only with people who are willing to grow. People who are not willing to grow are not bad. But being in an intimate relationship with them will hurt, because relationships are always about growth for both people involved.  Stick to your ‘guns’, stop making excuses for those around you, set your boundaries…never deviate from the plan.

And finally, choose people who want to be with you beyond the three-month crush.

Be conscious and choose wisely. It’s your life. Make it full of love.

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